Decisions Decisions

I am generally not a wishy-washy type of person, but the past few months have been a true emotional roller coaster. Things have definitely been leveling off; however, I can't help but feel that things are still not as they should be. Have you ever felt that way?

Some things are going really well. Like the fact that I have managed to maintain consistent weight loss and still make good food choices despite the emotional turmoil. I have not turned to food at all. I can't say that I've ever been an emotional eater, but I have been one that would eat when I was bored. Now I stop to ask myself if I'm fooling myself into thinking I'm hungry or if I really am needing nourishment. Those of you who know me...know I LOVE wine and beer. Well alcoholic drinks in general. I'm Catholic, what can I say?! ha It's been a bit more of a struggle to not have a drink when having a great meal that would be complemented by a drink (like steak and potato on the grill...a nice cold beer OR fried rice and baked chicken...a nice wine). The one weekend I did binge on beer (hey, I had a reason - Brew Bracket & a Purdue trip!), I paid for it for 2 weeks trying to lose that 3 pounds. UGH! I saw this on a blog my childhood friend, Lauren, sent me and it resonated with me. Victory will be mine!

One area that is not going so well is work. Don't get me wrong. I feel blessed to have a job that I like well enough and that pays better than most in this area. I am still majorly struggling with the decisions being made by our corporate office. Several others who do similar jobs to me are feeling the same pains of these changes. I feel that although the individual company I work for is doing well, we will go down in flames with the rest of the corporation due to their changes. I am constantly job searching, although I  have not applied anywhere in about a year. I wish my Scentsy business was at the level above where I am right now (we seem to be stuck as a team) so that I would feel more confident in venturing to something new. And being able to know I have Scentsy as a cushion. To add to my confusion over work, I continually get emails from Gonzaga about their online master's program. It was the last school I applied to a few years ago. I really really like their program, but my goal has been to completely wipe out my debt (not something I'd be accomplishing by adding in education payments). I just don't know if I have the energy to work full-time, exercise like it's my job (seriously I have to in order to keep losing the pounds), make time for Scentsy & Velata parties (because I want that to be my job), have time for dating (if I ever find someone who wants to date me AND that he is date-able - a new post coming on this soon!), and of course find the mental capacity to focus on studies (should I decide to pursue my Master's).

Feeling jumbled yet? I am!!! Along with those issues is of course drama with boys. ha I told my cousin Z about the ending with the electrician (we had dinner Friday night together - cousin not the "dad") and he was floored. He kept stopping our conversation and saying, "Really? Who freakin' does that?!?" I know, I know. My life is a soap opera. haha I know it'll all happen in good time. But with all those other things floating around my head, I often wonder if I even have what it takes to juggle everything at once. I know plenty of others do it. Maybe I just don't want any of it bad enough?? hmmmm...another new thought to ponder. I have some funny stories and not-so-funny stories to tell about trying to date on Match & OKCupid that I will get typed up sometime in the near future. Promise.