Okay.......so I need to update everyone on the boy drama. Where to begin? I guess the last I talked about it with all of you (some of you are much more up to date due to twitter and email and texts), everyone was saying to go with coworker boy. ;) haha The only way to do this is to tell you a synopsis of each situation.
Coworker Boy - We get along so well it's scary. Conversation is easy. He makes me smile without even really trying. Oh and did I mention that he gives forehead kisses?? *sigh* Cue the drama... Like most 30-somethings, he has experienced his own share of bad relationships, but the problem is that he hasn't found a way to trust again. As much as he wants to be in a relationship, he's too afraid to allow anyone to get really close. I think I snuck in under his defenses, much like he did mine. While I had no problem with this surprising turn of events, coworker boy got anxious and ran for cover. :( We have had a rough week of conversations, leaving me feeling like I've been on a roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters, I can't even ride the Viking Ship at King's Island without getting nauseous. Needless to say, after laying it all on the line this week (something I've never before done with a guy), I've learned that as much as I believe in something feeling right, you can't make the other person grab the opportunity if they aren't ready. So, for the first time in my life (again - so many firsts with this guy, it's insane!), I am just going to remain friends with him. It sucks, majorly. Even my "bro" thinks we'd be great together and was delighting in how happy we both were at the end of the week/over the weekend. I think coworker boy is the type that is generally pretty comfortable talking about his girlfriends with others (he certainly has been since he's worked with us), but neither of us want to share US with work (we've got some majorly noisy people) and I don't think he knows how to handle that new dynamic on top of a new relationship. Friends. Yep, it's working so far. Conversation is still as easy as breathing. I am not holding out any hope for more than what we have now. He's a great guy and as bro says "the damndest nice guy I've ever known", but I can't make him want more. Coworker boy still makes me smile with his smiles (seriously he has an awesome smile) and his intense blue eyes (who's not a sucker for baby blues...as I typed that I realized that 4 of my most serious relationships were with guys with blue eyes!) seem to be looking right through me.
Engineering Boy - A few of you mentioned how I didn't seem to be as giddy about engineering boy, but if I'd given my run-down of his good qualities immediately after our first date, I think it would have been different! My opinion of him last weekend was being colored by the excitement of something new with coworker boy. Anyway, engineering boy is currently in TN (which means out of state) and will be back and forth every week for the next month. When we originally started talking to each other (we met on Match.com), he forewarned me that he might have to spend a lot of time in TN in a few months....well, that time has come sooner rather than later. He is a hard worker and I totally admire that about him, but it feels like I'm being forgotten. We had a long discussion last night (for the second time in a week about this situation) and on my urging, we are going to take a break until he's back in town. This too sucks, but if we're truly interested in each other, we'll be looking forward to seeing each other again next month. He apologized, quite genuinely, for being "that guy" that didn't make me feel special. Sweet, no? Engineering boy definitely knows how to make me smile...and laugh. He is snarky and witty and I enjoy being kept on my toes during our conversations. It's not always as easy for me to feel like we have stuff to talk about, but he honestly works to keep it going. I'll be patiently waiting for him to return in 3-4 weeks and give it another try!
Hotty-Bo-Botty - Oh wait, you haven't heard about boy #3?? hahaha Well, listen up friends! My dear friend, Noelle, gave him his moniker. ;) He is a hotty. Like seriously out of my league hot. I sent Noelle a pic that he sent me so his face would appear in my phone when he called...and her reaction was much like my own! :p This is also a product of Match.com (it's a long story about why I gave this a go...but that's for another day). He's 36, looks like a yummy mix of Indian-American, but he calls himself white. I think his dad looks like he's an Island-Pacificer. He's from Virginia/DC area originally, but recently moved to Cincy. He's been talking to me for the entirety of this year. I have to admit that he intimidates me. Not that he's intimidating because he actually seems like a well-rounded, down-to-earth, next-door kinda guy. The problem is that I feel unworthy of his attention. Hotty-bo-botty is HOT. I am a realist, so I know that my being a good 100 pounds overweight makes me feel like a charity case. He works in sales and makes a good living doing so. He has been insistent about meeting me. I finally agreed to it this week (cause what's one more to the pile of drama, right?), but ever since then...I've not heard from him. So I'm not sure if it's a) the curse of once you have no one in the picture, everyone loses interest or b) the cat caught the mouse and really only wanted to toy with it, not eat it. haha Wait, that didn't sound right. LMAO So now I am just waiting to see if he follows through on meeting in person. Stay tuned for more on this!
Golf Boy - dun, dun, dun.....a 4th boy? WHAT?!? Eek! (I swear I'm not a slutty whore and this is for sure a first time in history that this many guys have been in my life at once - aka why I am so bad at juggling more than 1 at a time - but it's all because of online dating.) Golf boy manages a golf course in Evansville. And trust me, Rajean, if this boy ever makes his move...I will be coming to visit! haha ;) Okay, back to the story. Golf boy is a fellow Purdue grad that was on campus the same time as me and had the same major as MANY of my friends and somehow we never crossed paths. It really amazes me. I realize Purdue is a big school, but it always felt so small to me! He is 30, so we're pretty much the same age. He's from the Indy area originally and is very close to his family. He loves sports, just like me and we never seem to have trouble coming up with stuff to talk about (between Colts, Boilermakers, my previous background in golf course mgmt, etc). Unfortunately, he's never asked to take it beyond emailing on Match. Just this week I offered up my personal email...hoping he would take the leap and try to get to know me even more. He too was heavy in high school and college, then got serious about his health and lost quite a bit of weight. He says he has about 20 pounds he'd like to slim off again....I think he looks great! Anyway, with the mild winter, he hasn't had much downtime at work. We were both at Super Bowl Village at the same time (and knew it), but I don't think he was ready to meet...especially while we were both with our family members. I totally understand and respect that, but I would have liked to have at least met up long enough to say hi and to see if we had any chemistry. He's still in the mix, but it takes much longer to hear back from him because we aren't texting/talking on the phone. When we first started emailing, I had hopes that we'd meet and hit it off. So once again, waiting to see if he makes good on using my personal contact info.
And there you have it...the mess of my current standings with "the boys." haha I am feeling MUCH more like my usual optimistic self tonight. It amazes me that I was so forward with coworker boy (it's not in my nature to be that way around guys I'm interested in...) in telling him what I was feeling. After a week of being beyond honest with him, it felt natural to tell engineering boy how I was feeling while he was away working and not even letting me know he was alive. Then there is hotty-bo-botty and golf boy whom I've been running from and waiting on, respectively. ha As I said earlier this week in a text to my "bro" - I am not cut out for dealing with the feelings of dating more than 1 guy at a time. It's no wonder I never dated much (really, I haven't, it's quite pathetic) and that the ones I did date, went straight to relationship status without any hesitation.
Once again, thanks to everyone for listening to me rant all week about the drama and my frustration with the situations. I keep telling myself that one day it will be worth it when I'm with my dream guy... *sigh* Why does that feel like it's so far away? Ugh. As always, your advice is sincerely appreciated! :)
You little slut! haha just kidding...I think it's great that you are keeping ties with multiple boys. It never hurts to keep your options open! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm still holding out for Mr. Co-worker to come to his senses. I know it's hard to get over being burned by someone, but the absolute best way to do that is to put a little faith in someone who can treat you right. I'm not giving up on him yet.
You can't deny the connection there.
You tell Mr. Engineer to get his butt over to me in TN and I will give him a talkin' to!
And definitely I hope you get to meet up with this hotty boy, you will have to sneak and take a pic of him to show off his glory.
I know it's frustrating on your end of things when people say try not worry about it and it will work itself out. But that's true. I know everything will fall into place soon enough. Good luck!